Very Definition of Self-Serving...

So I see where the Pope has the balls to tell people have more kids.

Look, I was raised Catholic.  And in one of the most Catholic counties in the United States.  And my father worked for a publishing arm of a Roman Catholic Monastery.  So I've had the Catholic Church up and in some pretty uncomfortable places over the years, but when the Pope, a man whom I had respected a fair amount up until yesterday, comes and drops that bomb on the world, well, that boy's off his nut.

There are so very many reasons where he is dead flat wrong when it comes to his "have more kids" plea.  

At the top of the mountain, we've got the whole sexual abuse scandal the church has in it's belfries.  Yeah, I went there.  I had friends who were abused by men who were supposed to be serving God.  Which either means they were flawed men who failed their training, or they were just flat out predators who managed to find a way through whatever minimal screening was done.

I don't think we can pretend that there was any sort of screening, based on the amount of abuse I'm aware of over the years.  So for a man to ask people to have more children, it really smacks an awful lot of "so we can..."  

And while I'm sure that was the furthest thing from his mind (assuming this went through his mind, and not just blurted out of his mouth before he thought about it), it wasn't all that far from mine or many others, I assure you.

When he chooses to heap his holier than thou dreck on people who have pets instead of children, boy, ain't that a howler?  Look.  I am a parent.  I lived thirty years on this planet with the number one thought in my head being "what's best for me."  Yup.  Like most people.  And now, nearly 30 years later, I can tell you that some of you are already nodding.  Because you're parents.  And some of you are wondering just what the heck I'm on about.  Because you're not.  And then there are some of you wondering if I've slipped every single cog and gear I've got in my head.  Because you're still kids.

To be perfectly blunt and honest, there are some people in this world who should never become parents.  Some of them do, in part by accident, one would guess, and in part because they just have no idea what they're getting into.  No one does.  Sure, you can imagine what it might be like to have kids, and you can plan all you want.  But there are really only two types of parents.  Those who do a good job, and those who ... should have avoided the whole thing.  

I work in health care on the strange fringe.  I am the fellow who stands between your doctor and your insurance company.  You are handing over a healthy amount of change every month, most likely, and your employer is also adding to that pot.  The insurance company that sends you that card is really deeply hoping that's the net total of what they need to do for you each and every year - because most insurance companies are built around the idea that somewhere, someone is going to get a little bit more money because you didn't get sick, but keep paying them.

My job is to ask that company that told you all the wonderful things they could do for you to tell me if they're willing to pay for medication and services which will, in the long run, keep you around for a while longer to keep paying them your premiums.  And each and every phone call I make to an insurance company goes through a machine, an automated attendant, which includes the legalese notice which tells me that regardless of what any person might tell me in any conversation I have, or whatever document they produce and send me, none of it means a wet damn because they're going to go over all of it again when they get the actual bill, and they're going to try to find a way to make what they pay out to be as little as possible.

And yes, I work for an organization which is trying, at the end of each and every day, to also make a buck because you're sick.  But here's the thing - I see an awful lot of folks come through our systems and they're not only sick, they're suffering from bad luck, bad breaks, or whatever.  People who are now where I've been in the past, unemployed, looking for work, and sick, too. In a lot of those cases, we take care of the patient.  That's what organizations do, when they're focused on Health Care, not profit.  

What's all of that got to do with the Pope?  I see children, babies, kids who are sick with horrible, terrible illnesses.  Cancers and other conditions are pretty terrifying - though I am somewhat relieved because I see these people continue on treatment, watch the dosages drop, eventually they change to a lower-powered medication, and a lot of them, eventually, leave our service - and not feet first, toes up.  They recover.  

Then there are some patients I have who will never lead normal lives due to abuse they suffered at the hands of people who should have been their protectors.  And I'm not going to violate their privacy or HIPAA by telling you the details.  Let me just say that some folks probably should spend life in prison after what they've done.  And it is to the best interests of my peace of mind to not find out if they are.  

But they are also my case #2 for not everyone having children.  Some folks are self-aware and intelligent enough to know they don't want to take on that sort of responsibility.  I respect the hell out of people who are willing to say "uh, no thanks, I'm good, I don't need kids."  And then there are those who dip their toes in the water by adopting a pet, first, to see if that's something they can handle.

I did adopt a cat before I had children.  And I recognized rather immediately the fundamental differences between being a pet parent and a person parent.  I could drop food in the cat's bowl, make sure they had water, and then every week or so clean out the litter box and the cat was pretty cool with things.  Babies are nothing like that.  Having a baby is pretty much the equivalent of getting five totally unpaid full time jobs.  Most of us do OK with one, and here you are as the primary caregiver/supervisor of this piece of furniture which will lull you into a false sense of security - then they figure out how to move.  You become a clean freak, because you know anything on the floor, in reach, or anywhere you never realized it was hiding becomes an item the baby will put in their mouth.  Babies know nothing about the difference between safe and toxic.  Babies will happily chew on electric cords.  So will puppies.  The big difference is that the dog's teeth are usually much more developed than the baby - which is where that lull thing comes into play.  One day you'll realize that the baby drew blood when it bit you like it's been doing for months, because the gums are giving way to fangs.  Or teeth, depending on the baby.

Then there's the absolute joke about letting your child roam freely.  Your safe, quiet, happy neighborhood suddenly becomes only slightly less dangerous than a full-war battlefield.  You realize that a block over, there's a registered sex offender who moved back home, in with his mother, because nowhere else would have him, so the police are letting you know that there's a sex offender whose back deck faces the local park's jungle gym, swing set, and sand box.  

As a parent, you've committed yourself to moving through the rest of your life with a rather significant portion of your heart outside your body.  The truth is parents deal with some of the most crippling anxiety because they've released their most precious part of their lives to go into buildings which, today, may have an active shooter drill because two states away, some asshole decided to bring a gun to school.  Fortunately, he was caught before he did anything.  

It's a hellish job.  The best you can do is give them every bit of love you can, make sure they're aware that the world, though a wonderful place, does have it's unfair share of hazards and outright dangers that might actually seem like something that might be fun to try, initially, but then it can go all wrong in an instant - and it's not they who did wrong, they simply chose to trust the wrong person.

And the Pope has the balls to suggest that what the heck, people who aren't having children, who are raising dogs, cats, or fish, well, they're less than human.  Coming from a man who fronts the organization which, for several centuries, spent lives and treasure seeking to bring more fodder into the machine to serve them.  

I, for one, am not buying the bullshit the Pope is shoveling.  I think a slightly smaller world population might not be a bad idea.  Long gone are the years two people need to squirt out a dozen or so, to work the farm, lose 50% due to disease or hazards that couldn't be prevented, and eventually four of them make it to adulthood to continue the species.  I think 2-3 child families are fine.  Nothing wrong with big families if you are prepared to do the work that requires.  But please, spare me the sanctimonious garbage about it causing humanity to dim from this wonderful shining light.  In case you haven't taken a good look around lately, there's enough pain and misery going around, and we don't need to add to it.  

The very last thing we need is a man who chose a life and career path which explicitly and completely prohibits children telling the rest of us we're not doing our part.  Sorry, Spanky, but you lose.  Game over.  Move on, perhaps you should focus on that which you know.  Maybe managing billions of dollars of assets when millions of people are hurting due to the harm your cronies and predecessors caused.