Digging Up Old Feels

I noted earlier the depressing realization that I'm closing in on a deplorable amount of old e-mails I've kept over the years.

The terrible news about this is that, while going through some of these messages, all the old emotions (or as the kids today say, "the feels") are returning from when I encountered the messages.  

There are messages from, yes, ten years ago, when my son and I were still part of several different communities - and messages from my wife and daughter as well.  From my daughter's period where she attended college in Wisconsin, and came to realize that being away from home and responsible for her own budget is just about as difficult as adulting gets in that 18-year-old time.  And there are messages from my wife and I back and forth trying to get the kids ready for school, getting me a new-to-me job, and managing the family finances and scheduling.  And a few other teeth-gritters.

I do understand some people have an incredibly difficult time compartmentalizing.  While others feel their opinions are legitimate reasons to share some pretty obtuse, and/or just flat out wrong ideas.  One of the things that drove me out of Scouting over the years was the inability of some people to understand the rules. 

That's right.  I can be a real rules freak.  In some cases, it is required.  Such as when it comes to certain tools and assets.  Because, you see, if you are a member of a Scouting organization, that group holds, in trust, the assets and resources, for the young men, and these days, women, who work very hard in some cases to come by those resources.  The resources are not yours, however.  The actual owner of them is the sponsoring organization.  That's what most adults seem to ignore.  

It's not they, or the kids in the unit, who "own" the resources.  Legal ownership of those resources, which also means legal liability, rests squarely on the shoulders of the organization which "charters" the unit.  That is, most often, the place where the unit meets is usually provided by the sponsoring organization.  Growing up, my Cub Scout Pack was sponsored by my grade school, which was owned by the local church Parish.  When I joined Boy Scouts, that unit was sponsored by the local American Legion post.  Initially, we met in the local City Hall because the Legion paid the fee to the City for the use of the hall.  At some point, someone decided that we could probably also meet in the basement meeting hall in the American Legion building.  While we were meeting there, a local business, the St. Regis Paper Mill located in Sartell, was undergoing an expansion, and they needed some additional space.  So they made an offer to the Legion to buy their building and property, immediately across the street from the plant.  Their offer allowed the Legion to buy an open block a few blocks back from their original location, and build a gorgeous new building.  

They owned it.  And they also owned our unit.  As did the parish Church did for my son's units, both Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts.  

So when someone decided to spout off on a particular topic that was not related in any way, shape, or form to Scouting, their actions not only brought some liabilities to the foot of our chartering organization, they also brought some real, legal, legitimate exposure to that organization.  Which isn't my responsibility to manage, but is within my realm to contain.  

Because, aside from the whole separation of church and state which many people these days seem to be having real problems with, they also bring other potential issues.  Let's say, for example, as a candidate for public office, you believe that your views very closely align with the views of many in a local religious organization.  Let's say you decide, one Sunday morning, to gather some friends and relatives and post flyers on every windshield in the parking lot.  

And here's the funny thing.  You can't do that.  I don't mean you cannot physically do that.  I mean that legally, you cannot do that.  Because first off, if you use that church's parking lot to pass out flyers, you put that church in the position of giving the appearance which they endorse your candidacy and views.  While we all know which direction most faith communities end up leaning, the bottom-line bit is that, if your local church advocates for politicians on either side of the aisle, they are violating the separation of Church and State, which can result in their loss of their tax-free status.  

So, my friends, I stood pretty firmly on that principle when some of my less-compartmentalized parents chose to espouse their views on religion, on legal matters facing Scouting, and on their opinions when faced with then-new, then-relatively-rare, very terrible news about things like School Shootings.  

The disgust I felt when I had to tell a supposedly grown adult, an individual who was somewhat notable in their community, that they could not send continuous messages about arming teachers, about how particular politicians were wrong in their views, and how we needed to address things that are still flash-points for conflicts in our communities, was nearly overwhelming.  When professional people fail to recognize the rules also apply to them, and insist they have the right to use resources which are not theirs to spread their views, be they hate, prejudice, or love, or acceptance, it's not the place.  Do it on your own time, using your own resources.

The lack of perspective and respect in some people is absolutely stunning.  Grown adults whom you might expect are mature people capable of understanding rules, restrictions, and codes of conduct seem to believe the rules apply to everyone but themselves. That is what truly disturbs me.  But as an adult, I'm not going to go find a gun and shoot some place up.  My parents raised me with more respect for myself, and my community.  I may not like people or their behavior.  But I will respect their right to hold their own opinion.  They'll have to use their own resources to disturb other folks, though.